At the core of leadership are relationships that tie people together.  As John Maxwell states “Relationship is the glue that holds people together….good leaders understand the value of relationships because they know that leadership is influence and influencing people requires having a good relationship with them”. We can safely assume that the quality of key relationships could impact our effectiveness as leaders. Let’s take a look at three different types of relationships that influence our effectiveness as leaders.

Relationship with God (Upward)

A leader who has a good relationship with God and draws strength and wisdom from God will never go wrong. In a place of prayer and communing with God, wisdom and insight on what to do, and when to do it is revealed and the leadership experience is bound to succeed.  Insight from God will not only lead to choosing the right vision for each situation, but also provide guidance on how to lead and relate uniquely with each individual. King David in the bible is an example of a leader that relied on his relationship with God to lead. A study of the account of David’s life reveals that he did not despise the power drawn from his relationship with God, throughout his challenges, mistakes and numerous victories. He always inquired of the Lord for each situation, listened for direction and obeyed. As a result, the Jews consider him as the most brilliant leader of ancient Israel. (Reference Scripture: Second Samuel 5)

Relationship with Self (Inward)

A healthy relationship with God leads to a healthy relationship with oneself.  A leader who is secure and confident in God’s love tends to be comfortable with him or herself in spite of apparent imperfections. Such a leader can confidently step out and lead others understanding that the wisdom, opportunity and ability to lead comes from God and not from one self. It becomes a service and not a duty. It becomes fulfilling to see others empowered and led to be their best, while moving the current vision forward. Just like King David who was humble enough to go back to the source of his strength at all times, in spite of his mistakes and sins. It is also critical for a good leader to have a good understanding of his or her strengths, weaknesses, preferences, personality straits and relationship styles, and know how to leverage them in relationships. Being at peace with your weaknesses and knowing you are not, and cannot be all things to all people and  that “His strength is made perfect in weakness -2 Corinthians 12:9 ” leads to a new level of dependence on God to be your strength in those areas.

Relationship with Our self (Outward)

It is critical to understand the value of those you are leading, so you can appreciate and leverage their uniqueness for the benefit of the overall goal/vision.  A healthy relationship with God and oneself naturally frees leaders up to relate, lead, appreciate, empower and love others fearlessly. For example, Jesus in His ministry on earth cultivated relationships and drew individuals from different walks of life to partner with Him in his ultimate mission while empowering them to be who God called them to be.  As you begin to nurture these relationships, you will  begin to see everyone God brings your way as uniquely created and valuable for His purpose and plan.  You will be free to help them grow without being concerned about them outshining you, because God is your source. Instead of being concerned that someone else on your team exceling in a particular area, you will celebrate it knowing that God has brought that person to your team for a reason. You will know that their success doesn’t diminish your success but it actually increases the impact you make as a team.  

Most, if not all of us are leaders or being led in one capacity or another. For example parents are leaders in families, while children are being led in the same situation. Similarly in the workplace an employee is being led by a manager who is responsible for providing leadership direction. Leadership experiences may however be situational therefore you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on three types of relationship as they apply to you i.e Upward relationship with God, the Inward relationship with yourself, and Outward relationship with others.  Identify adjustments you need to make in your relationships as you lead in various capacities and you will begin to experience fulfillment beyond your imagination.