I was having a discussion with my boss at work about the need for him to give me balanced feedback. This basically means he should let me know when my actions or work products are “great”, “good” or “not so great”. For me it’s very important to gain that perspective as it helps me to understand where I stand with regards to my performance, and also it guides me towards what I should start doing, what I should stop doing and what I should continue doing.  To me, it’s his responsibility, and it’s only fair for him to let me know where I stand.

A few days after the discussion I was reflecting on that discussion, and I thought about my team members that God has entrusted me with during this season of my life. Have I really been giving them balanced and meaningful feedback? If yes, how have I been doing it and has it been effective? If not, what has prevented me from doing so?

After my reflections here’s what I came up with. I have not been doing such a great job at it and I need to seek for ways to improve. I must confess that sometimes I hesitate to give praises because I want them to focus on improving and knowing where they stand. So I end up not doing much of it and just not using the word “great” that much. I have been very stingy with the word – GREAT.  In some way I might have lost opportunities to reinforce great behavior. So I have decided to make some changes and for the next one week to look for ways I can use the word great as I give feedback to my team members.

Going back to my boss, he confessed that he is not so great at giving “critical” or “constructive” feedback. Total opposite of my approach, and to make it more interesting, this was a group discussion and three of us (ladies) were giving similar feedback to him. A few days later, I was reading a book that I think shed some light on this – females tend of have a ”fix it” mentality and men appreciate being affirmed. So we basically relate to the world the way we see it. 

I have decided to take a critical look at how I view my team and improve on the way I provide feedback so I give my team the benefit of growth and understanding what they can start doing, stop doing and continue doing.